Spinoza Ray Prozak

"In life all things are ambiguous from the lack of reason why for being, only that we are and we have a necessity to continue, to endure, in the style of life reaching for ambition and not the coldness of death. But death is what must come to this world based on the bastardized needs of humanity elevated to crises of spiritual consequence in all of the overwrought, falsely-emotional politic of human grandstanding for power and definitive context. None of us seem to have realized that our world could change as we can dream it, and that if our desires led to meaningful ends instead of the same mundane consumption that drives us into the slavery of our fearful twitching herd, we could spend our lives empowered and not forever reacting in some aspiration to power, controlled by our emotions as we lash out or dive into the comforting fold of static death, the aging stillness and cyclic emotional battering that leads to numbness, conformity, and a zero valuation of our existence. We do not need redemption from the nothingness of sin or degradation but from the things we have, the civilization that we have made exist to make us serve."

Quest

I bring death metal to the radio because they need someone to twist the dials. Death metal is more important than life, and if you drown out the voices of the needy and fearful around you and within you, you can understand that oftentimes the music on the stereo is more important than the conditions of life to be imposed upon you. Death metal defies duty, control, hierarchy, and human "logic," which brings me strength as I witness these stupidities daily crushing human life.

We are about death, but death is about life.

Philosophy

Nihilism is the valueless, atonal, meaningless state of existence we all seem to fear, yet we live within it by adhering to illusion and fearing our dreams. The reason why is not to ask the question, but to believe in life as a space in which we could accomplish the dreams we now cherish in prenatal addiction. We fear our desires, but if we were to act them out we would find the emptiness of inculcated illusion, and would have to look behind the image of desire for the meaning of the transmission from within. Were we to accept that nihilism only affirms existence by removing hierarchy in anarchic distribution, we could see that anywhere there is a universe, and in each grain of sand a new mapping of the heavens.

As this needs explanation, let me say this: in our lives, there are many pretensions and perceptions of human beings which through language, social behavior, symbolism and concept shape reality in our heads. Nihilism (as I use the word) is to strip away all of these things and to come close to seeing reality as it really is. Drugs can't help, sex can't help, and killing can't help, but all of these things give you a glimpse of what it is to get close to the zero. Meditation and discipline alone bring this perceptive starting point into your life for the long haul, and it is only a starting point. A gateway. When nihilism has reduced all value, etc. to nothingness, value instantly springs up, because nature hates a vacuum and will fill it with something significance before the Nothingness closes in. Our society fears nihilism for the same reason it thinks it needs morality; both concepts are false. Embrace nothingness and you will find the somethingness you have pursued all along.

Questions

Why do we spend our days indoors, working for the gratification of others, while sunlight and youth pass us by?

Why do we align ourselves in polar systems against one another, so we must be allies or enemies and cannot reach the simple level of co-existence?

Why do we support emotional attacks in the name of morals, future, or economics when all such things treat us individually so poorly?

Why do we believe sex is a moral issue and not a karmic one? Be a slut, babe, it's on your tab not mine; you are the one you have to face when you turn out the light.

Why are we at war with our own weaknesses in the weaknesses of others?

Why do we assume our stature is any other than the walking apes we are? Why do we assume it is different anywhere else, or that others have basic goals unlike our own?

Why do we live sucking the teat of guilt, to die in denial of regret, when we could live for living and die without regrets, guilt, or denial.

Why is it that older people are tied to the existence of their employment, identify themselves by their job, and find themselves as ever unfulfilled yet more predictable, more patterned to an objective?

Why do we blame murderers, in this world of constant frustration and inane human impositions upon one another?

Why do we continue to produce and buy industrial products when we have each seen how industrial byproducts poison our world, bring us cancers, and force us into mechanical jobs?

Why when we have the brains to do better, does everyone bow and whore; why do they defend their jobs and whoredom in bitter seizure of the petty illusive power that justifies their confinement?

Why do we make pretense of education or ambition or individualism, when it is obvious we are cattle for profit from birth to grave?

Why do we allow our pretense of individuality and individual permanence to get in the way of collective action? and scientific knowledge?

Why is it that people, when faced with death, often choose evasion and long-term disappointment in exchange for short-term confusion that comfortingly removes the question from their perceptual frame?

Answers

To find out what really drives humanity, we have to look underneath the level of firm grounding humans have in justification and task definition as substitutes for impetus. We are so conditioned to react, respond, reply to an overload of information and control-oriented demands that very few of us have any real "will" or independent motion of any sort.

In the subconscious mind, symbols appear as what they are: real, in the sense that humans use them to "stand for" life and thus replace it. People work all day to avoid the difficult questions about spending their time they'd have if the time was theirs to spend: how do you plan for a life whose future you cannot see? There are comforting answers in strong authority, material objects, sensuality, intoxication and entertainment, but the easy and gritless answers are never what solve the problem - only what hide it.

Lack of self-esteem.

Weight of decisions overcomes hopeful outlook.

Social control demands obedience and intellectual death, or rebellion and constant pain.

Our memories are clearer to us because we've made them into tokens to remember them; reality, however, is made of a finer texture and is not yet so well known.

We distrust our souls, having seen ugliness, but having fled before we could see the beauty within it.

Much of our suffering is designed so that we gain from the burden it imposes on us as a shield and a justification for inaction.

Inspiration

What lurks in our desires leads to our unearthly reward; where we aspire we can go, and where we can dream we can sense a future, to write the next chapter of our individual books or the book of our world, the chronicle of our species in its rush to extinction.

Some things in this world interrupt pain: people acting alive, art, subversion, love, drugs, and abstract thought. People and the artifacts of their thought process can interrupt the drudge enslavement of a day job for not levity or relaxation but an internal process similar to the externalization of desire, hope.

Here are some things that have kept me alive.

Metal music - Without the honesty and philosophical intent of this work I would have never known that the alienated have a voice in this world.

Nihilism - When all things are too much, we can cut them down to exactly what they are by recognizing the death of all greater context. This frees us to appreciate the nothingness of what is, and the somethingness that we can have.

Botany - Plants are simple fractalized structures with a distributed, universal consciousness. They understand pain and beauty more than most people I meet.

People - I love selected people. Their spirits to me make them immortals. Their names must be secret, but they are spirits of epic actions that transcend the everyday stupidity of whoredom to mechanical absolutes.

Rebellion - To know the back of spirit is not yet forever broken and cast into the machine with the rest of our slutlike lives; we give ourselves as whores from a lack of self-love, self-respect, or self-definition.

Romanticism - Little of the heroic has ever been, but even less now remains, and thus is our affliction to be both self-hating and self-denying. It is better to find a way to love life, and within it death, than it is to deny the process of nature and thus live in mechanistic function.

Postscript: Well, there is none. Read this for whatever it's worth and send me your thoughts if it inspires you. Negative responses without useful criticism are boring.