my whole fucking generation is looking for truth in a bottle. maybe it came across a deep blue sea, tightly packed and without corrosion, in a world without time like saturday cartoons. maybe it's a sordid, adult, "serious" alcoholism that can almost sweep reality under the rug. a lot of you like to go to raves. now that you're in your 30s, i think many of you like to take cocaine on weekends, watch movies and use either your family or your career as a drug. you won't be happy until you admit reality.
  • things suck: the west is committing suicide and all of humanity is racing for technological suicide
  • the decline: it's subtle and infests our culture, language, even genes
  • things are great: life is beautiful, too beautiful to waste time on unheroic things
  • you: you are great, but you're also kind of suck, it's a mixed bag.
  • who really are you? do you exist, or are you like a drop of water, part of a flow
  • things are mediocre: most of being alive is to be bored or busy, and that wouldn't make a good movie?

    • of all the things i'm now sure of, it's that drinking won't change the world like a magic buttonpush (nuclear war, it's all man stands for).

    i drank. i took drugs. and i never had a problem with either. well, unless i was depressed. and then the depression rode me and the drugs were the symptom. i wish they had helped. but in fair weather or foul, they're just drugs. use your nihilistic inner eye and see things for what they are. a drug can take away affect but it doesn't change the world. it might change "your" world, but to fall into that world is to live in your head. i knew a typical stoner out here. fat, lazy, messy, dirty, disorganized, selfish. she quit smoking pot six months ago. i went to visit her last weekend. nothing has changed except that she has more money. you can't change what's within from externally, you have to change what's within. and if you can't, why do you assume you are the world? just be what you are, and you will fit into the world.

    but that brings up mortality, and at this point it's polite to: drink.